Where i went in the rain yesterday

Today, my group and I didn't go anywhere, yet, I felt I had journeyed far along the corridors of my forgotten memories to an important time in my past, as I shared a part of myself with a new friend I'd made thanks to this group project. And thanks to the rain, we didn't go anywhere, but simply sat and talked on the telephone..All my thoughts about life's journey poured forth... like a river...it felt wonderful to share...I, too, enjoyed listening to her thoughts -- it's as if we took a walk in each others' Gardens of the Minds.
Dogil's "ritual & performance" class in the morning stirred a thought in my mind... contemporary life is too much performance and too little ritual, and often the two are mixed up. Some people live their whole life like a performance, for others to see, while others do everything like a habit, forgetting how some actions are so meaningful if we only remembered the ritualistic and healing aspects of it...
The greatest rituals of all are never seen by spectators, i think. For example the rituals of the Ise Jingu (most impt shrine in Japan) ... It was in a rainy and windy day like today about 3 months ago that I visited the shrine together with so many other tourists and locals ... but nobody knew then there is actually nothing to see at the end of the long, hard,stone-paved road to the shrine... Until we finally reached the end, there is only an gate, which we learnt, even the Emperor of Japan cannot pass through... I remember how disappointed some visitors were after braving the storm and getting all wet to see nothing!
Life itself is so much like that, the most magical journey of all is the one we walk inside ourselves, it makes you understand how special everyone is deep inside and how beautiful everything in this world is....the journey is always challenging and what keeps us going is friendship....
This SUNY program is so unique, few people ever dared to ask the big question --"Who am i? Where am i going? " -- I asked myself this question before and struggled to find the answer... the funny thing is, the answer came to me when i tried to recall where in the city i can remember first venturing to as a child --- my first impression of owning space in the crowded city...It took a while to find the answer.. and when i did, i couldn't even remember how old i was or what i was actually doing there, but i rmbr i felt happy, bright, light and free at that place.
Strangely, even throughout my adult life, subconsciously, i always go there when i am lost, and i do the same thing -- which is nothing, just look around, be with myself -- and all the values, beliefs and truth about of my true self and what i love comes flowing back to me. -- yannling